BY Sara Martinez (@Saritology)
It’s been a week since the premiere of Washington Heights on MTV, and so much has happened! VH1’s Love & Hip-Hop was all over the hood too! They were at La Marina, Vin-Tich and Nail Lounge. Looks like Uptown is what’s hot, and why not? Our apartments are bigger, the food is cheaper, and the people are better looking.
The show started with a recap of last week, focusing on Ludwin and his relationship with Diana aka Dominican Debbie Downer. Everyone has an opinion. Ludwin’s friends feel he should be with someone more his speed, which I get, especially when homegirl is lurking in the shadows like a lunatic, while everyone else was celebrating on the roof. It’s a celebration! Your boyfriend just graduated, they’re eating [my favorite Entenmann’s] cake off of plastic plates that JP is trying to save to bring back home. (Don’t think we didn’t hear you JP. We all heard you.)
Frankie has a show at the Bowery Poetry Club, the poem is about love. Juxtaposing her recitation with Ludwin getting ready and heading down to his graduation, of course, because this is the love story. They are the Dominican Ross and Rachel (thanks to @elprofe316 for that one). I look forward to her voice maturing. She’s really good, but with some real hurt and heartbreak she is going to be great. I’m talking about real pain. That let down, disappointed feeling you get when you think you just found “The One”.
You know what I’m talking about guys; you find the perfect apartment, with a separate dining room and living room, French doors, wood floors, a laundry room in the building. You tell your mom about it. You go to West Elm and decorate your apartment in your head, then head to Target and Ikea to find the much more affordable alternatives of the furniture. You call the management company because you want to sign the lease a.s.a.p., only to find out that someone already took it, they offered to put more money down, or to pay more a month. You didn’t even know that was an option! Now you’re broken, a shell of yourself. Will you ever be able to trust again? That’s the kind of hurt Frankie needs for her poetry – the pain of New York City real estate.
At a BBQ, JP and Frankie are wearing the same thing… again. I half expected them to yell “twinsies!” and we finally get our first Nutcracker sighting. It took 3 episodes MTV! 3 episodes! That Nutcracker led to Ludwin’s having a touching moment with his brother. He’s been emotional about his brother going to jail; I thought he might get dehydrated if he cried anymore. It’s about time he has a one-on-one with Alexis. Tears are shed, Alexis regrets committing a crime (you hear that kids? Please).
Then Diana does that thing that girls do when they they’re not the center of attention: she walked away in a huff; turned around, saw he wasn’t following her, called him over, (interrupting his conversation with his brother). She then proceeds to make a big deal about his female friend checking on him. After that, she has the unmitigated gall to say she doesn’t care about his brother when Ludwin tried to explain the situation. You know who wouldn’t say something like that? Frankie. You know why? Because she’s dope. That’s when Ludwin, with a heavy heart, decides to break up with Diana. But don’t worry guys, I’m sending her Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill album. I think she might finally find something to relate to!
Rico and Fred go out to eat with their mom and little brother. Mom begins discussing the classic Washington Heights inheritance they have coming to them: the rent stabilized apartment in Manhattan. She’s moving south, but her eldest sons are staying, how will they pay the rent? Do they have jobs? Apparently Fred does! There’s a question finally answered! But what does he do? That internship isn’t paid, or is it? Rico, the oldest brother, does not have a job. Then he shows his apparent disbelief at the possibility of having a job, and going to school. Dude, it’s not impossible. Hit me up, I’ll tell you how it’s done.
While playing basketball, Rico tells JP and Reyna that he wants to be an actor. Now we just need someone who wants to be a dancer and we’ll have all the entertainment industries covered! Someone call the Dominican Jabawalkies. He “wouldn’t mind being the new James Bond.” Oh, you wouldn’t mind? That’s quite a coveted role you wouldn’t mind doing. Do you realize the hotness factor that is necessary for that role? I guess what I’m trying to say is, take off your hat… and your shirt. What? I need to assess the situation better. Then he’s throwing around a football with the fellas, and when they ask him how he plans on paying for an acting coach he stutters, utters, and mutters. I guess we’ve figured out who the hot, ditzy one is from the group. My friends would say “it’s a good thing you’re pretty.” But my friends are jerks.
In the end, Fred buys his big brother Rico acting classes, so now he doesn’t have any excuses. He doesn’t have to worry about paying for the classes because they’re already paid for. But don’t act like you didn’t see Rico make that “damn, no more excuses?” face. He made the same face my mom made when I told her I wanted to be a nun. Sure I was drunk, but I meant it at the time. I was going through a really hard break up – don’t judge me! It was quick, but it was there!
We have to get back to Ludwin and his drama because he and Frankie are super cute, sitting in Bennett Park, winking at each other. She’s pretending she doesn’t care that he’s winking at her, frontin’ like she’s tweeting from her phone. I see you! In the end of the episode, Ludwin calls Frankie from the twin bed in the living room of his grandma’s house. (Yes America, this is normal apartment living in Washington Heights.) Frankie shows up, gets comfy in his bed, takes her boots off and drinks water out of a coffee mug. She and Ludwin exchange words of mutual admiration and then they swap spit. Frankie gets the man.
Here are some questions that were raised by this last episode: Is Alexis a wanted man? And how many Nutcrackers did he have? He was pretty saucy! And why did it take so long for a Nutcracker to make an appearance? What was in that Jungle Juice that was being mixed at the BBQ? It looked good, will they share the recipe? Does anyone besides Fred have a job? Did you all know that a GED gets a graduation? Did the rest of the country need the subtitles when Alexis was speaking? Did they really say YOLO before they took the picture? Why are you guys drinking 40’s? Did I wake up in 1992 again? Why does that keep happening to me? Did Diana get the CD? Do you think she’d take advice from a stranger?