Wilco Tango Foxtrot: Owl Herpes

BY Led Black (@Led_Black)

Yesterday DNAinfo reported that “an owl found dead in Inwood Hill Park last month was killed by the herpes virus” according to a Department of Environmental Conservation spokesman. Okay, I know that there is nothing funny when an animal is found dead but you have to admit that the idea of Owl Herpes is pretty damn funny. First of all, who had even ever heard of Owl Herpes? To think, before the DNAinfo article the very notion of Owl Herpes was utterly foreign to most of us. Secondly, just saying Owl Herpes is enough put to a twisted smile on your face. In my humble estimation, Owl Herpes deserves it’s own hashtag – #OwlHerpes. Lastly, I find it absolutely hilarious that most of us, including myself, made assumptions about the Great-Horned Owl based on the fact she had Owl Herpes. We all assumed, and shame on you for that, that homegirl got around, that she was loose, chasing the opposite sex and leaving her nest unattended. Like she was turning tricks in Inwood Hill Park or something. But what if it was her first time and she just happened to fall for the wrong owl and had a one-night stand. Next thing she knows she has Owl Herpes. I’m saying; that could be the case. Give an owl the benefit of the doubt. Just because she is a bird doesn’t mean she is really a bird.

We invite you to subscribe to the weekly Uptown Love newsletter, like our Facebook page and follow us on Twitter & Instagram or e-mail us at [email protected].

You Might Also Like