UPinion: Catfish Killed Online Dating

BY Jenni Ruiza (@RuizaJenni)

What happened to online dating?

Catfish happened.

My favorite show on MTV has single-handedly ruined the world of finding love (or casual sex) with the help of a www, a short not-so-clever bio, and a few pictures (taken only at your best angles) that show how cool (not really) your life is. After deleting my profile for one site and taking a long hiatus from the online world, I decided to give it another shot.

Why not, right? This time I stumbled upon a more known site that I avoided for some time and it quickly became an obsession. Shopping for men at a rapid pace by simply dissecting each photo and skimming through bios for key words and phrases like – laugh, fun and travel took up the majority of my attention in a rather unhealthy way. Then the first attempt of contact happens. Great. You wait and because of the general nature of the site you typically get a response within a few seconds. Dehydrated, are we? But with the list I was juggling, I noticed one trend that I had never come across before in the form of a question: why do you only have one photo on here? Can you add more?
But why? I look the same in every photo – bun or curly hair – there’s not much of a difference.
The response: I want to make sure I’m not getting catfished.

Wow. Over 10 guys (I’m not boasting by any means) said the same thing and I realized I needed to add more photos to get real attention. BUT then the disappointment set in. Yes, I had added proof that I indeed was real and existed but found that after exchanging my number with a prospect or two – those same people who asked me to upload more photos were the same ones who were trying to catfish me! Catfish me?! I know all the tricks in the book thanks to MTV. But what if a gorgeous Adonis with a six pack on the site turned out to be a wall-eyed goofy looking liar. And I wasn’t the only one experiencing this. In the same day, my best friend had the same happen to her.

So what can we learn about online dating?

1. Never trust the photos you see online. All girls know that there is a pose we perfect to make us look our skinniest, our prettiest and our youngest. Men do too!

2. Beware of the clingy guy who is too impatient to wait a few minutes or even an hour in between responses. He who immediately asks for your number is typically looking for one thing. Sex. But go for it, if that’s what you want – just be careful that he may try to “marry and divorce you all in the same day” (yes, that’s a real line) or “get prepared for cuffing season” (another real line).

3. What the hell happened to courtship? You know, the normal kind where a man courts a woman. Which leads me to…

4. My taste in men has always been along the lines of the darker side. But more recently I’ve been paying a little more attention to Latinos. And here’s the trend that will inevitably offend all groups mentioned: Black men make a significantly lesser attempt to court. In fact, they seem to prefer a woman chasing them. But the Latino men have been overwhelmingly overwhelming. They lay it on thick. And that’s cool but let’s not forget a girl likes to be chased, not suffocated. Find a happy medium.

So, there you have it. Thanks to Nev and Matt on Catfish, Americans have been educated to fool others into making the extra step of exchanging numbers and then pulling the old bait and switch to try and win someone over after a little bit of witty (but predictable) conversation. And you all suck at courting!

Here’s a hint guys: If you want women to stop emasculating you then take control of a tradition that’s quickly dying due to laziness and carelessness (not to mention a self-entitlement that is usually undeserved) and put some effort into courting a woman by showing a little attention.

Find out more about Bronx contributor, Jenni Ruiza, at http://www.jenniruiza.com/. Follow her on Twitter @RuizaJenni.

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One Response to “UPinion: Catfish Killed Online Dating”

  1. I did not really see it “destroying” but merely saw it as an eye opener to a lot of us who were sucked into the idea of online dating as being the answer. It is not perfect and we still have to be careful. Thing is, a few scams here and there cannot discredit the hundreds of success stories of found love.

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