UPinion: The Abused Past Versus The Liberated Present

BY Brenda Nuñez (@MissBigB)

Domestic Violence

Girl you need to be quiet.

Why are you so opinionated; don’t you know he’ll slap you?

I mean, let’s keep it real, men run this world and sometimes we just have to do things their way without objection. If you keep complaining about him not helping you around the house, he’ll get tired of your nagging and leave you for some other gal. Have you seen the competition? Since we’re on the topic, you should get your body done. Your breasts are sagging a little after the baby and quite frankly; your tummy needs a tuck!

You have to look the part if you want him to stay oh and you need to be a freak in bed; do whatever he says! Why are you trying to go back to school anyway? It’s not like you need a career. Just be good to him and you’ll have whatever you want. But for real girl, I’m telling you, be quiet! Your mouth might get you killed. Sometimes he’s stressed and he doesn’t mean to stay out all night or put his hands on you. It’s just that he loves you and that’s how he shows it. I’ll let you go now before he comes and dinner is not ready. Me Mata!

La que te mate fui yo! Damn girl how could you have been so ignorant? I get it, naïve AND being in love is a dangerous mix.

But let me explain:

Yes, I need a career because it fulfills me. I can run a business as well as I can be a stay at home mom. But whatever I decide to do is MY choice and not his. See, as a woman I have many titles. Most men can’t walk a day in my shoes if they tried to. I didn’t get my body done but I did hit the gym. Not because of the competition though, but for ME! And if I choose to alter my body it won’t be to please a man’s standard of how a woman should look.

Damn girl you were even afraid to pick up a book! You didn’t know the difference between love and abuse. He belittled you because he knew you had the potential to take over the world. Thank God I know now what I didn’t know then. Oh and this man you’re so afraid of, I kicked him to the curb and packed my insecurities in his suitcase. Because you see my dear, NO he CANNOT come home at the wee hours of the night. I deserve more than being just a trophy wife. How dare he want a freak when the minute-man couldn’t deliver? Coward enough to hit you but not man enough to please you! I CAN have my opinion and have a say on how things get done. I am a warrior. I am a queen. And any man who doesn’t appreciate that, can’t be anywhere near my throne. Sorry that I didn’t come to the rescue sooner but you live and you learn. Thanks to the abuse, I was able to reflect.

Related: Celebrate Love – A Guide To Surviving Valentine’s Day

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